There is saying, something about the best way to make God laugh is by telling him your plans.
Frankly, I’d argue that if you want to get him really chuckling, perhaps write a blog post extolling the great virtues of your day.
Because the next day you will eat a bug before 6:00 a.m. And I think we can all agree that starts the day at negative 90 trillion.
First my alarm went off at 5, which is the norm most days but on TUESDAY I get to sleep in a little. So the 5 am alarm was painful, and then once I pulled myself out of bed I put my biking clothes on and hit the trails without even drinking a cup of coffee. This is not how I usually operate to say the least. I was about 4 (painful) miles into the ride (seriously, still sore from the 32 miles I rode Saturday) when I saw it coming. It was like the opening scene from Men in Black, slow motion style, as the bug came towards my face, and blam, into my mouth where I gagged, coughed and swallowed the damn bug. There might have been tears. I didn’t fall off my bike though. That was a positive, if one is looking for the silver lining in the story involving an accidental bug swallowing.
I also discovered that the only other people out on the trails at that hour are the crazy diehards and one little old lady pushing a large cart full of toy poodles.
So to recap: on Monday I got an iPad and on Tuesday I ate a bug before seeing poodles in cart. HAPPY JUNE.
Yesterday had every marking of a bad day before my 5:00 am alarm even went off. To begin it was Monday, and frankly, I don’t think I need any further explanation than that. But, not only was it Monday but I’d broken my blog, I was beyond sore from biking, it was raining and I knew I needed to cancel dinner plans with friends because I’d overbooked myself all week long and apparently allergy medicine and groceries do not buy themselves. Lesson learned.
I wasn’t more than 40 minutes into my work day when our office manager stopped by with a package. Packages at my office typically consist of books so I wasn’t all that thrilled until I realized that this box was slim and sexy and OH MY GOODNESS IT CONTAINED AN iPAD, AHHHHHHHH. It took every ounce of self control to not begin twirling down the hallway, but alas, these things are frowned upon.
I settled instead for taking a stealthy photo with my phone and promptly texting it to B. And then my parents. I mean, they’d want to know the good news. You’ll be pleased that I refrained from sending a massive company email along the lines of HI EVERYONE I’LL BE EMAILING YOU FROM MY NEW iPAD FOR THE REST OF THE DAY and settled back into work…while watching said iPad charge. It was so beautiful, charging on my desk…..
I really thought this was all the fun a Monday could possibly contain but then, as many of you know, a little trial in Illinois finally reached its conclusion when our former Governor was found guilty of 17 counts relating to bribery, extortion and wire fraud. This means that if you are elected Governor in Illinois you have a greater chance of going to prison than of kissing babies. Or something like that. But it was a great moment of fist pumping in the office as people yelled out from their work stations “one guilty…..two…threee…..oh wow, FOUR…..five….SIX…” and so on and so on. It was the most fun I’ve ever had counting to seventeen, I’ll tell you that. Sesame Street has nothing on a jury verdict. Nothing.
I’m declaring it a national holiday.
My blog is broken, again, after I attempted what was supposed to be a super easy plug-in installation and it all went haywire, eating my widgets and all my content that runs down the right hand side save my BlogHer ads. Nice touch, evil plug-in, nice touch. That or I somehow hit the “catastrophic mess” button in my dashboard, which until now I didn’t believe existed but after this weekend…..
THIS IS WHY I CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.
Please excuse me while I tear my hair out, pretend I understand html code and alternatively email my host service with tears of frustration.
At the risk of running full on into the subject of this post without so much as an introduction…..this showed up on the screen of my printer at work today:
I’m currently taking submission on how to explain that to my manager. Gold star to the best entry. While you brainstorm, I’ll apparently be digging a grave to toss this thing into. So very Office Space if you ask me….