My husband and I are not particularly tall people. We are not super short people either, but we fall on the lower end of the average spectrum I’d imagine. I’m 5’4 and a half-ish and my husband is 5’10. We lead a very regular not-too-tall-not-too-short existence. That said, I have some very, very tall family members (think 6’4 and over) and so does B. We have family members that played Division 1 college sports and stuff. That kind of tall.
Anyway. When no one in your house breaks the 6 foot plane it means you don’t always think to dust on top of the bookshelves or the fridge. You can’t really see up there so, see no evil….dust no evil?
All of this changes though when one of our tall family members comes into town. Suddenly I find myself dragging our step ladder around the house, peering on top of things, dusting like a mad woman and bemoaning the fact that our fridge just doesn’t go up in the sky for forever like a magic bean stalk. Then I’d never have to think about it, because even our tallest family members can’t see on top of a magical bean stalk.
The other issue is that our guest bed is a quaint little European double with a headboard and footboard. This wouldn’t be something to think about except European double’s are not as long as a regular American bed and with the footboard, if someone is taller than the bed they are forced to sleep all crunched up. Normally it isn’t a big deal, but when your Uncle who is 6’6 comes to visit you start measuring things and panicking and wondering if they can physically fit in the bed. My parents had this issue when I was a little girl with a European guest bed and my Mom came home one day to find my dad sawing the footboard off in order to accommodate his taller brothers who were coming to visit.
Yes. Sawing. Through an antique metal bed frame. My Mother was thrilled.
So all I’m saying is, if you are not particularly tall it would behoove you to try and ensure you don’t have any super tall house guests. Or else you’ll find yourself dusting your whole house from on top of a step ladder.
In a way I was asking for it.
First I wrote a post bemoaning our car. I’m pretty sure I laid down an ultimatum or two, something along the lines of “if we have to fix the car one more time….” before trailing off and giving the car the stare of death. Pretty much willing it to break into one million pieces.
Then I wrote a post talking about how everything that could go wrong went wrong when my husband was out of town. Promptly before he came home and I went out of town.
Are you picking up on the foreshadowing here?
All this means is that when I was in San Diego, B was driving back to Detroit for a wedding and suddenly, 80 miles out, lost all electricity in the car. While on the expressway. From the way he tells it, using his GPS to calculate his speed was a real adrenaline rush. Or something.
The long and the short of it is, after much maneuvering, my mother in law let us use her car this week. Thanks Milly! (P.S., for those wondering Milly beat her cancer diagnosis and after completing radiation she has been declared cancer free, whoop!) This was a major mistake on my in-laws part because the car we are driving? Is a speedy little convertible. And the weather in Chicago is gorgeous right now.
Did I mention it was a convertible? With no top? And pretty sunshine pours in on your while the air rushes around it is just lovely? Milly texted me to tell me how to put the roof down which was just an epic mistake on her part because this blog post officially serves as notice that I’m going to come up with 105,629 reasons why the car should stay in Chicago. And B, that talk about having a car with more space was absurd -we don’t need trunk space!
We need a convertible.
I said so.
Are you familiar with Klout? Klout is a website that is kind of a jerk because it pretty much uses some fancy algorithms to calculate how popular you are on the internet.
The problem being -outside of the fact that, well, it is ranking people based on popularity which is pretty much everything that is wrong with the world- is that the algorithm makes zero sense. It gives you lists of topics you are considered influential about, which can in turn earn you Klout perks. Despite not being influential about smells or deodorant, I did earn the Klout perk of 4 sticks of deodorant. They said it was a years supply but between you and me, these four sticks will be lucky to make it to Halloween. Maybe they were just giving deodorant out to people they thought needed it, I don’t know. All I know is, I got myself some deodorant.
Obviously you are wondering what I am influential about, if not deodorant.
Nancy Evil Face Grace. I have no words.
Except! I’m not the only one who is influential about Nancy Grace.
Turns out Heather and I can share more than a room together, we can also share the ability to melt your mind when it comes to Nancy Grace. Trust me, we don’t know how this happened either. Then again I’m betting that Brittany isn’t sure how this whole crime-scene thing happened, seeing as how blood makes her puke and she is more of a schemer than a scheme unraveler, if you know what I mean.
To further the mystery (don’t worry, Brittany is using her CSI skills to solve it) my friend Katie is apparently influential about….Brett Favre and smart phones.
Methinks Brett Favre could have used himself a smarter phone or two. (You see what I did there?)
All I’m saying is that when a crime involving Brett Favre and smart phones happens and Nancy Grace is reporting on the case, my friends and I are going to get some awesome Klout Perks. Better than deodorant I’d imagine. In the meantime, I’ll be using my influence to stop the world from tuning in to Nancy Grace.
Remember how I was in a cooking contest this past weekend, blah blah blah, famous chef judge, big prizes, wooohoo?
(Talk about getting to the point, no?)
My veggies were very pretty though:
Risotto, it flops again. Tricky dish that risotto. However Chef Marco did say I was a “clever girl” so hey, whatever.
It was a little disappointing to lose. but since I had so much fun competing and I got lucky in a few other giveaways over the weekend (holla Braun Satin hairbrush with an ion spray nozzle) I decided to consider it an overall win. Next time though? I won’t be going forward with risotto. Take note future contestants, take note.
Overall, San Diego was a lovely whirlwind experience with pretty views.
Pretty views of male models too, while perhaps a good idea in theory, was rather awkward and uncomfortable in real life.
BlogHer, for me, is about seeing friends. Mission accomplished, although in normal life I meet friends for drinks and at BlogHer you chat with friends on pedicab rides from crazy-land, where you see your life flash before your eyes – train racing is in fact discouraged in my opinion- while simultaneously considering a career change. What? I ride a bike.
I also went to a party with walls so crazy I felt the need to take a video to share with you. THAT IS HOW CRAZY THEY WERE.
I know. It just blows your mind.
The weekend ended with a decorated McDonald’s bag on my head. As it should.