Are you familiar with Klout? Klout is a website that is kind of a jerk because it pretty much uses some fancy algorithms to calculate how popular you are on the internet.
The problem being -outside of the fact that, well, it is ranking people based on popularity which is pretty much everything that is wrong with the world- is that the algorithm makes zero sense. It gives you lists of topics you are considered influential about, which can in turn earn you Klout perks. Despite not being influential about smells or deodorant, I did earn the Klout perk of 4 sticks of deodorant. They said it was a years supply but between you and me, these four sticks will be lucky to make it to Halloween. Maybe they were just giving deodorant out to people they thought needed it, I don’t know. All I know is, I got myself some deodorant.
Obviously you are wondering what I am influential about, if not deodorant.
Nancy Evil Face Grace. I have no words.
Except! I’m not the only one who is influential about Nancy Grace.
Turns out Heather and I can share more than a room together, we can also share the ability to melt your mind when it comes to Nancy Grace. Trust me, we don’t know how this happened either. Then again I’m betting that Brittany isn’t sure how this whole crime-scene thing happened, seeing as how blood makes her puke and she is more of a schemer than a scheme unraveler, if you know what I mean.
To further the mystery (don’t worry, Brittany is using her CSI skills to solve it) my friend Katie is apparently influential about….Brett Favre and smart phones.
Methinks Brett Favre could have used himself a smarter phone or two. (You see what I did there?)
All I’m saying is that when a crime involving Brett Favre and smart phones happens and Nancy Grace is reporting on the case, my friends and I are going to get some awesome Klout Perks. Better than deodorant I’d imagine. In the meantime, I’ll be using my influence to stop the world from tuning in to Nancy Grace.
Remember how I was in a cooking contest this past weekend, blah blah blah, famous chef judge, big prizes, wooohoo?
(Talk about getting to the point, no?)
My veggies were very pretty though:
Risotto, it flops again. Tricky dish that risotto. However Chef Marco did say I was a “clever girl” so hey, whatever.
It was a little disappointing to lose. but since I had so much fun competing and I got lucky in a few other giveaways over the weekend (holla Braun Satin hairbrush with an ion spray nozzle) I decided to consider it an overall win. Next time though? I won’t be going forward with risotto. Take note future contestants, take note.
Overall, San Diego was a lovely whirlwind experience with pretty views.
Pretty views of male models too, while perhaps a good idea in theory, was rather awkward and uncomfortable in real life.
BlogHer, for me, is about seeing friends. Mission accomplished, although in normal life I meet friends for drinks and at BlogHer you chat with friends on pedicab rides from crazy-land, where you see your life flash before your eyes – train racing is in fact discouraged in my opinion- while simultaneously considering a career change. What? I ride a bike.
I also went to a party with walls so crazy I felt the need to take a video to share with you. THAT IS HOW CRAZY THEY WERE.
I know. It just blows your mind.
The weekend ended with a decorated McDonald’s bag on my head. As it should.
Aloha from California. Thus far California has lived up to its reputation with sunshine, fish tacos and gorgeous views. I’d call it a win.
A few weeks ago I blogged a recipe of my own creation for a contest being sponsored by BlogHer & Knorr stock. I was pretty enthused in the sense that my recipe was tasty, so even if I didn’t win I had a new go-to in my recipe binder. When the winners were originally announced I wasn’t on the list, as is the way with the majority of contests I enter. No luck I suppose. You can imagine my surprise when I discovered this week that I was in fact the first alternate, and since someone else couldn’t go, I was welcome to the prize. Not one to turn down prizes that include “free trips” and “recipe throw-downs” I said yes with as much grace as I could muster between the squees and enthusiastic herkies I was doing in my living room. You know, the usual.
Of course now that I am in California, getting ready to compete in this recipe contest I’ve come to a few…realizations…as you might call them.
1. The judge is a celebrity chef with 3 Michelin stars.
2. My recipe, for the contest, is risotto.
3. Have you ever watched a cooking contest? Do you know what happens to the people who cook risotto? Here, let me refresh your memory:
Yeah. That happens. Anyone who has ever watched a cooking show ever in the history of competitive cooking shows knows that the contestant with risotto goes down in flames. TIME AND TIME AGAIN.
Have I learned nothing?
Apparently not. But if you are at BlogHer and want to watch me go down in a fiery ball of rice and goat cheese, please stop by the Knorr booth at the Expo at 11:00 am on Saturday morning. I’ll be cooking some gluey, gummy rice to serve to a master chef. It should go well in my estimation.
Things that will happen to you – but only when your husband is out of town for an extended period of time:
GOOD LUCK HONEY, I’M OFF TO BLOGHER.