Rhett Butler

Love, RB

February 3, 2010
By

My name is Rhett Butler. I’ve recently conned some stupid humans found a new loving family. They provide chicken at regular intervals so for now, I have decided I shall stay & sit awhile. FOREVER HOME, FTW!

 RhettB1

Sitting is what I do best. By sitting I mean sleeping. Of course.

RhettB2

What? Don’t judge. I’ve been told I HAZ TO GAIN TO LBS. The People are embarassed that people keep asking how old their puppy is. IZ NOT A PUPPAH! IZ A GROWN UP DOG!RhettB6The People are confused by my enormous talent. MOST PUPPAH’S WOULD DEMOLISH THIS GOODNESS THAT IS A GREENIE. Not, I, Rhett Butler. I prefer to nibble small bits and leave them in geometric patterns on my napping spot. SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN. RhettB5Shhh. Don’t tell The People that I sometimes nap on the couch. THEY HAZ RULEZ ABOUT THIS COUCH. I ignore them. I’m Rhett Butler. I was kicked out of West Point & I’ll probably get kicked out of PUPPAH SKOOL. Mostly because The People are figuring out I KNOWZ WHAT THEY TELLING ME. I JUST CHOOZ NOT TO LISTEN. RhettB7The People have yet to realize THE TOYZ THEY BUY ARE INFERIOR. SO I SHALL IGNORE THEM. Unless of course the delicious Woman’s slipper is taken away. Then I shall sulk with my VERY OWN PUPPAH TOY.

RhettB4

What? She got only got the slippers two weeks ago. It isn’t like she’s attached to them. IT IS THE SLIPPERS OR THE PUMPS. TAKE YOUR PICK. Please excuse now. I’m off to bounce around & prohibit photos taken from any angle other than sleeping angel. Well, unless of course you promise to get my good side.

 

RhettB3

Ciao. AM OFF TO SCORN TREATS & CONQUER THE COUCH. AGAIN.

20 Questions, Give or Take

January 27, 2010
By

- Why does the grocery store by my house have three cheese sections? There is the typical American/Cheddar/Swiss/Dreaded Pre-Shredded Cheese section on one side. In the produce department there is an artisanal cheese case (read: the good stuff) and then, in the middle of the store is a chill chest with cheeses from Mexico, pimento cheese & fresh mozzarella. What the….?

 

- Tim Tebow is doing a commercial? During the Superbowl? And isn’t about football or academics in Florida? What, pray tell, does he have enough experience in other than these things that he thinks his opinion matters? Or should be used to try and influence the American public? Let me just say this: celebrity endorsements beyond consumer products make me ill. Stay out of politics please. This means you too Brad Pitt. (Side Note: 1987 called and it would like its facial hair back.)

 

- The lady who came up to me in the office parking lot yesterday and accused me of being at the office too early: What? Come again? Do it again and I’ll mace you, you crazy bat. (Side note: buy some mace.)

 

- American Idol: does anyone still watch it? Did anyone ever watch it? I just don’t get it.

 

- Rhett Butler: are you really a picky eater or are you conning your new family something fierce? Rhett Butler likes to take his rejected treats and pile them in front of the refrigerator. An offering, if you will, to the Appliance Gods to please produce some more boiled chicken!

 

- To the real estate agent who is selling some units in our building that thinks I didn’t hear what she called me under her breath yesterday: I’m sorry I wasn’t nice and used clipped tones towards you in front of a potential buyer. I’m sorry that your assigned parking spot as a contract worker for the building is inconvenient, but if you park your high-end SUV in my spot that I pay for, one more time, I’m going to have you towed. And if I come and find you and then tell you you are parked in my spot ONE MORE TIME and you have the gall to ask me if I need you to move I’m going to complain to the State about your unprofessional conduct. Repeatedly parking in my spot in a private garage and then telling me it is because my spot is more “convenient” than yours makes you a real class act. And by class act I mean an unemployed narcissist.

Introducing Rhett Butler

January 24, 2010
By

B & I have been talking about getting a dog since the day we started dating. It has been a years-long process, and after the holidays we started seriously searching. There has been some heartbreak and disagreement along the way- the English spaniel that I fell in love with but B didn’t, the bulldog that we both wanted but our building refused to approve. We kept talking about how much we wanted a beagle but the only ones we found had serious health or behavioral issues. It seemed our search was never ending.

Saturday morning we trekked down South to a new shelter. It was a sad place, too full for the amount of animals they had, but it was clear the volunteers wanted them all to go to a good home. That was when Rhett caught our eye.Rhett Butler 1

After spending some time with him, we happily paid the adoption fee and brought him home for a long bath and some treats. We are in love and the feeling seems mutual.

Rhett Butler 3

Rhett Butler

Approximate Age: 5 years

Breed: beagle/English foxhound mix

Backstory: Stray dog, owners never claimed him

Likes: peanut butter treats, lambswool bed, belly rubs

Dislikes: bacon treats, yam/duck treats, straight peanut butter and when I leave the room

Biggest wish: to be allowed in the bed

Happiest: when his harness and leash come out for a walk

Rhett Butler 2

He’s housebroken, doesn’t bark and loves to play. He slept all through the night in his bed (on the floor next to ours) and seems generally enthralled with anything we do in the kitchen. He has made friends with 10 pound dogs and 175 pound dogs – the mastiff at Petsmart was just another playmate to him.  He needs to gain about 5 pounds, and he has a wound on his nose that is healing, but other than that he has a clean bill of health. We are smitten.

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