Lawyers

Head Pats & Platitudes

January 4, 2010
By

It is the funniest thing- you go to law school (read: study, study, study, study some more) and graduate (read: debt!) and then you sign up for your bar exam study courses (read: more debt!) and then you study an entire quarter of a year away, await your results (read: stress!) and then you find out you passed the bar exam.

 

And then you have to find a job. Sure, some people have family firms to fall back on, or got one of those coveted high paying but soul sucking jobs at a Vault 100 firm, but the rest of you us are left to our own devices.

 

Lately, in both blogging & Twitterverse, I’ve been hearing the rumblings. Graduation is fast approaching (or come & gone for the December legal beagles) the bar exam is turning into a real live thing instead of something to be pushed away for awhile longer, and hey, in case you hadn’t heard the economy is in the toilet hopefully swinging back up. Perhaps, but perhaps not. And my Internet Friends of the law school variety are panicking. As they panic of course they have well intentioned horrible, awful family & friends asking them if they have a job. A lead? A back up plan? A friend at the local coffee shop who can at least slip you a discounted cup of java while you scour the classifieds?

 

Those friends are also getting the same old same old replies:

 

“Don’t worry! You’ll find something!”

 

“I hear the economy is picking back up!”

 

“You just have to be patient!”

 

“The right job will come along.”

 

Understandably so, those same friends are annoyed seethingly angry. No one can promise that they will find a job. None of those well meaning souls has an actual lead, just platitudes & a pat on the head, and an air of “come what may.”

 

I know this, because I’ve been there. I’ve checked Lawcrossing and Craigslist 25+ times a day, and dry cleaned my interview suit “just in case” and practiced smiling and answering questions in the mirror until my throat hurt. I’ve carried my phone in my hand everywhere, even at night because you “never know!” when a potential employer might call, and I’ve hung my hopes on more than one job posting that fell flat.

 

I get it. I have sympathy. I know what it feels like to want to throttle a parent or cousin who offers chirpy positive thoughts, and what it feels like to stare at the “nice” shampoo section and wonder if you’ll ever have a job that lets you buy the good stuff again. I know what it is like to turn down a dinner invitation with a friend because you can’t pay for your share much less the transportation there or back, and I know what it feels like to turn your lights off early in an attempt to keep the electric bill down.

 

I also know what it feels like to dance in your jammies across your living room, hip shaking and twirling and shrieking because someone offered you a real live job. Whether that twirling comes before you even graduate or a year and a half later, I promise you that the warm wash of gratitude & happiness will feel better than any snarky comment to your family or friends.

 

Some of my closest, smartest friends who admire more than just about anybody (you know who you are) are still not where they want to be in their professional life.  They have shown more grit and perseverance than anyone I know. I’m proud of them for not hanging up the towel, for treating their degree with respect, and maintaining a positive attitude even when times are tough. One such friend has a job interview in the near future that I just feel, in my very core, is going to pay off. I can’t wait to hear how long she danced in her jammies in her living room when they offer her the position.

 

In the meantime, feel free to share your tips, anger, frustration & general melancholy here. I promise not to pat you on the head.

Commence The Freaking Out

December 7, 2009
By

I forget (a mere two years later…) that December means a whole slew of students, both undergraduate and graduate are busy freaking out. Exams, papers, lab finals & projects are consuming their time, each of them has a big circle around a date near the end of the month that marks their escape to freedom- sleeping in, seeing family, perhaps going back to the job they held during the summer months.

A special brand of finals fear rests in the heart of law students, 1L’s in particular. It is a fear that resides in the part of the brain that houses words like “failure”, “inept” and “the curve” – enough to send shivers down any sane persons spine.  Have no fear, law students (and lawyer) are not sane. They are competitive, mean and judgmental. At few of them feel the need to wear fedoras and act superior while flaunting the 6 degrees they’ve already attained. The rest of them are busy trying to figure out how to get 5 other degrees while in law school so as to graduate ahead of the fedora-wearing-lameo. The person wearing the fedora will disappear at some point 1L year, never to be seen until graduation when they announce they are taking a position in Minnesota. As a duck tracker. My point being law students should be handled with care and a touch of skepticism.

The night before my very first final exam of my 1L year- about 4 weeks after getting a dismal grade on my one and only midterm, the one assignment that could have served to bolster my ego or feelings of faith in myself, was long and tiring. At about 2 am, as I was going to wrap up and squeeze in a few hours of restless sleep, my computer gave me the blue screen of death. I did what any frazzled 1L would do- I called my Mom, sobbing, explaining in detail how I was withdrawing the next morning because I was a washed-up law student has-been.

Needless to say she informed me I wasn’t quitting. I cobbled together some semblence of Windows, managed to eek the computer through the rest of finals (it limped through the rest of 2005 only to die an explosive death during hour one of the first day of Contracts in January) and went home, exhausted. What on earth had I just done to myself??

When my grades came back I was deflated as much as an already flat tire can be. My grades were mediocre at best. Always a solid A to B student (excepting that semester of micro-economics in college that I prefer to block out of my memory, along with the hypothetical cups of coffee and tea my professor was always moving around the white board) my grades were solidly the middle of the pack, if the bottom-middle. I was no stand-out, that was for sure. I went to each of my professors and went over my exam in an attempt to understand what I’d done wrong.

When I went to speak to my Con Law professor- the one whose exam had struck horror in my non-laptop-working-heart, he pulled out the stack of exams. He explained the top grade was the first exam in the stack, the lowest grade on the bottom. Receiving a solid B in the course- a “meh” grade in my book, I was shocked when he pulled my exam out of the stack after only setting 3 other exams aside. I’d had the fourth best grade in the class- and yet, I’d only gotten a B. My Contracts professor’s tutoring session was worse- when he found my exam in the stack he told me it was, by far, the best written exam he’d graded that semester. Somehow, that didn’t make my B feel any better- especially when looking at my “points earned” section I realized I was probably the bottom of the “B” pile.

The reasons for my disheartening story are as follows:

  • If you are in graduate school, taking exams (especially your first semester) mentally prepare yourself for straight C’s. You are competing with a lot of people who have done just as well as you for just as long, and mathematically speaking, 95% of you will not be in the top 5%. Anything that isn’t a C will be gravy, but it will help keep the sting to a minimum, just in case.
  • Some people in the top 5% will get the coveted jobs. So will someone in the bottom 50%. At least one person in the top 5% will not be heard of again until you run into him/her at Starbucks 3 months after graduation- they will be handing you your coffee. Take that dose of perspective along with your Type A pills and Competitive Serum.
  • You can’t learn it all. You simply can’t. Trying to learn it all will result in a 3 am sob fest in the library, on public transportation, or in a coffee shop when you hear someone else mention something completely irrelevant to what you are studying.
  • That said, you can not study too much. Alternatively, you can study to little. The person who studies the most passes the exam, but so does the person who finds the middle ground. Decide which person you want to be ahead of time.
  • There is something to be said for mental breaks- going to the movies, out for a cocktail, running, shopping, golfing, ice fishing. I don’t really care how you take a break, but schedule them in. Do not take a break to do laundry, unless your name is Daisy *cough cough* and the sight of neatly folded sheets and towels sooothes you to no end.
  • You are probably being an insensitive jerk to your best friend, roommate, parents and/or significant other. Plan something nice for them after it is all over if you hope to graduate with them still supporting you.
  • Showering is still important.  At the minimum, change your skiivies daily.

Tell Me About Yourself

November 18, 2009
By

I recently had a lovely reader send me an email asking for my thoughts on interviewing for jobs, specifically attorney-kind-of-jobs. The truth of the matter is, I was pleasantly surprised someone asked me for advice. In my grandiose dreams I like to think of myself as an advice giver. Perhaps all of you are willing to contribute to my therapy fund, for round one, The One Where We De-Bunk My Feelings of Superiority & All-Knowing Powers. On second thought, perhaps that will encompass round two as well.

 

In addition to my other lofty blogging goals- Menu Monday (haven’t done that in two weeks…), Confession Monday (hmm perhaps I should have thought that through), sharing photos of Baby Z (these pesky thoughts of child safety & privacy sort of shriveled that one up…) and my holiday gift-giving guide (still sitting on gift suggestion number one, which some people liked and others reminded me that dude, collar stays are so not every day vocabulary for non-lawyer-people, aka, real people)- I’m going to start throwing out some nuggets of interviewing advice.

 

I’ll start by admitting that I’m no professional at this. (I am in fact related to one of the best professional advice/coaching people in the country, and so I must remember that I’m nothing but a newbie, throwing out my occasional pearl of wisdom.) I have tanked an interview or two in the past, but I’ve also worked hard at slam dunking interviews. My current manager has informed me that I beat out people with 10+ years of specific experience in my field because I was just so charming professional & engaging. Interviews, once granted, are the key to your professional success.  So, lets start with the basics.

 

Generic Questions Do Not Deserve Generic Answers

Bad:

 

Managing Partner: So, tell me about yourself Alice.

Alice: Oh, well. Lets see. Well, I graduated from the University of California, Berkley with a bachelor’s in economics, and then I went straight to law school at Georgetown University where I focused on corporate transactional work. Um, I also clerked for a district court judge in my third year. I’ve always loved business, so I figured I should study something I’m truly passionate about. (Smugly pats self on back and awaits the next soft-ball of a question.)

 

Good:

Managing Partner: So, tell me about yourself Alice.

Alice: I grew up as the oldest of three children in suburban Lexington, where I played lacrosse for 18 years and spent my summers working as a lifeguard at our local pool. In college I discovered I really enjoyed my business courses, so I studied economics while spending my summers interning for a variety of Fortune 500 businesses. While interning at Coca-Cola I realized that my favorite projects included legal research and policy aspects of business, so I then moved to the East coast to attend law school and live near my younger siblings who were in undergrad in Philadelphia and New York. During law school I continued to enjoy my corporate law courses and clerking experiences, while still finding time to play intramural lacrosse and train for a marathon. My parents still live in Lexington, but I’ve convinced my younger sister to buy a condo in DC with me and we are hoping one of us learns how to cook in the near future- you can’t live on take out for forever!

 

The difference between the two?

Boring-Alice recited her resume back to the managing partner. She wasn’t prepared to truly tell him about herself- which is what he asked. Instead she provided little personal information, wasn’t particularly articulate, and provided information already at his disposal. In essence, she wasted her breath and his time.

 

Interesting-Alice actually told the managing partner about herself- while weaving in themes of responsibility (working since high school), endurance and dedication (18 years playing a sport, training for a marathon), a desire to stay in the geographical area she is interviewing in, and a discussion about why she is interested in corporate transactional work. She has outside interests- although none too risque or controversial- and while she provided information that is on her resume, she did it in a natural manner that provided personal background information behind the career choices she has made.  She also presented herself as a human- she has family, a sibling she lives with and she admits she can’t cook but is willing to learn. She told a story while answering a question. Managing partners and HR coordinators want to hire people- people who are qualified- but people nonetheless. Inject some personality into yourself, no matter how boring or transactional or numbers-based the open position might be.

 

The other huge difference between the two answers it that Interesting-Alice was prepared for the question. She clearly practiced- no answer like that is going to come rolling off your tongue, no matter how smooth you are. I’m assuming that if you are mailing resumes out, you are also practicing answering all of those generic questions- out loud, to a wall, to the mirror, to a video camera. If you haven’t been, now is the time to start. Make a list of the generic questions you are always asked- and then write articulate answers to them. Practice them. Provide concrete examples of times that you succeeded on a project, a tight deadline, a legal theory, what have you. Prepare for variations of the same question, and prepare varied answers. Then- practice, practice practice. Practice again. Become comfortable with your resume and your background and why you are sitting in that chair looking for a job.

 

And then? Practice again.

Mish Mash

November 13, 2009
By

The other day one of my closest friends (and one of my fabulous MOH) told me she had a dream in which we were tailgating at an anonymous SEC football game. She was surprised to find me enjoying a snowball instead of the cocktails everyone else was sipping. She pulled me aside asking (remember, this is a dream) “Oh my! Are you pregnant?” Dream-Daisy turned to her and replied “Um, no. Being married means you are poor. I can’t afford to drink. Everyone says getting married means you are going to be rich, but those people are wrong.” Neither one of us has any idea what it means, but we both got a good laugh out of it. Dream-decoders anyone?

 

* * *

As a kid my parents used to tell my brother and I we could play Dead Lions and the winner got a prize. Dead Lions was always played in the evening and it involved both of us lying on the living room floor, AS STILL AS POSSIBLE imitating dead lions in the desert. Mom & Dad claimed to be “judging” us, but in retrospect I think the new name for Dead Lions should be “Sucka!” – we always fell asleep on the floor. Somehow I think this was the plan.

 

* * *

Sometimes work, life or love is tough. Sometimes you feel like it is a combination of all three crashing down on you. I’ve had a bruising week myself (stomach virus hell, what?), but I know a lot of my friends out there have had their own trials and tribulations. That said, three of the people who have gone out of their way to cheer me up are people who had enough on their own plate this week. Many thanks to The Namby Pamby, Overflowing Brain & Five Small Meals for your jokes, emails, tweets & general frivolity.

* * *

 

The holidays are fast approaching and I’m going to do a little gift giving advice. What can I say, I’ve always been told I give good gifts. (Shameless self-promotion here.) So, Holiday Gift Suggestion Number 1:

Collar Stays!

 

I know, I know. You are probably thinking that collar stays is one of the most boring gifts around to give to your significant other, but I disagree. The first reason being, men hate cheap collar stays that become twisted or broken- and for any man that wears a shirt requiring them, not having extras around the house can make for a rough morning. Why not have some nice quality ones instead of helping them snap a Starbucks swizzle stick to the right size in a pinch? My two choices for collar stays that are sure to put a smile on his face:

Underhercharm, an Etsy seller makes gorgeous hand stamped collar stays with any message you’d like. So lovely in fact, that is what I bought B for his wedding gift. I had one collar stay engraved with our wedding date & one engraved with our new names. Simple, special & sure to make wearing a suit a little sweeter.

Red Envelope, a great website for gift inspiration, sells two sets of collar stays, each with a sweet (or sexy, depending on the set you order) message on them. They ask you why you’d settle for a love note in a briefcase when you can do it at closer range…. in my opinion, a nice way to remind someone you look forward to them coming home from the office.

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