Chicago

As a currently employed lawyer who has had experience as an un-employed lawyer I am going to throw some golden nuggets of wisdom out there for those of you who might be looking for work. These are not nuggets of wisdom for you BigLaw types (Read: lawyer who worked at a firm in the Vault 100 that pays their incoming newbies copious amounts of money in return for their soul and 2400 billable hours of document review) but rather for the real lawyers who keep the judicial system & corporate America going while the muckity-mucks at The Big Firms eat $20-a-plate chicken salad & sleep in sleeping bags under their desks, next to their Ferragamo pumps.

• Update your resume & be sure to include the position you just quit/were let go from. Even if you were only there for three weeks before you packed up your box of personal belongings, not putting that job in there is considered unethical. Don’t fall into the trap. PUT IT ON THERE no matter how much it stings.

• But come up with a sold line for why you left or were let go, one that is truthful but puts you in a good light. Don’t go off on tangents in interviews or at networking events: stick with your line. It keeps you professional & prevents you from falling into any traps. Keep the ranting about your psychotic ex-boss among your closest friends, in the privacy of your own home, over a bottle of pinot grigio.

• Speaking of pinot grigio, have a cocktail or five. For once in your life you are not accountable to that unspeakably early alarm clock, billable hours or The Man, so try to derive some pleasure out of the situation. Have a drink. Stay up late watching Jimmy Kimmel. Go to an afternoon matinee. Go feed the ducks in the park, or read the newspaper on a bench downtown while you enjoy the weather. Another words: get some simple (inexpensive) pleasures out of your out-of-work status.

• Which parlays into the advice of: stay busy. Don’t wallow for months in your apartment, pausing every three days to shower & change into a fresh pair of pajamas. (Why no, I don’t speak from personal experience………ok fine. But I washed my hands twice a day.) Take your still-working friend’s up on their offers of lunch (on them!) and take a walk to your local Starbucks even if you are only getting a hot tea for $1.50. Getting out of the house gets you some perspective. Better yet, volunteer at a local legal clinic.

• Don’t rant to anyone (even your Mother) in a public place about your ex-place of employment. (The cousin of Rule Number 3: never discuss your case(s) in a courthouse elevator. EVER.)  You don’t know who is sitting across the aisle, counter or shopping for milk at the same time you are. Can I tell you how many times I’ve heard someone slamming a firm/judge/lawyer that I know while I sat on a bus wearing my work0ut clothes or carrying a bag of groceries? Keep your inner monologue inner or you risk the rumor mill regarding your unprofessional demeanor.

• Speaking of those still-employed-friends: as soon as you have stopped the tears or the quaking, let every single one of them know you are looking for work. Even your non-lawyer friends, because the odds are if they know you they might know another lawyer who might mention over their weekly squash game that their firm is looking to fill a position. When I found myself unemployed in December I sent a huge email out (BCC please!) simply stating that I was looking for a new position, resume was attached, please pass along anything you hear about. Not only did I have offers of drinks for the next five nights, but my friends passed information on to me as they heard it. Those open jobs they told me about were spots of sunshine in my bleak days.  How crushing would it be to not tell your friends and find out a month later that a former classmate works for a firm that just finished hiring three new attorneys?

• Once you are done hitting up your friends, start networking, and network hard. You might not get a full time position out of it, but you might find someone looking for an attorney with time for contract work. I paid my rent & bought groceries from small sums of money I earned from some friends & people I’d networked with who ran small firms that needed some research projects done, a motion written or someone to cover a court-call when their kid came down with the chicken pox. 

• If you fall into the contract-work business to get by (& keep your skills fresh), set an hourly fee for different tasks (research, writing, court, travel) & keep it the same for everyone. The odds are you are doing this work for friends, and offering a “friends & family” discount to 90% of your employers isn’t going to get you to far. That said, set your fees fairly: you don’t work in BigLaw and asking $200 an hour isn’t going to get you much further than  “hello”.  Ask around if need be, but don’t price yourself out of the market before you start.

• Did I mention daytime television? Yeah. Its cool. For once in your life, settle into an hour of Oprah without the guilt.

If anyone else (lawyer or non) has any words of wisdom, please chime in.

Yesterday I arrived home from work & immediately changed into some comfy post-work clothes (Read: old, old velour drawstring pants that I refuse to throw away even though they are baggy & stretched & fraying on the hems) before settling in to go through the mail & some other household tasks. After a few minutes of mail sorting (bills, bills, bills, free mailer, ooh an RSVP, bills)  I looked up and saw I’d missed a call from “The Front Door” just moments before.

The Front Door calling means one thing at that time of day, that the UPS or Fed-Ex man is here. Between the move, care packages from parents, B’s birthday, ordering things for the wedding, and receiving wedding gifts I spend 3 out of 5 weekday afternoons at various package pick-up centers. For awhile it was because we didn’t have a buzzer/front door system installed so the delivery men couldn’t get in, now we have a system but if I don’t answer the buzzer they can’t leave packages requiring signature. (Side note: the building is working on getting the delivery men keys & waivers so they can leave packages in front of our front doors but alas, it hasn’t happened yet.) As spending my afternoons in the crowded waiting rooms of UPS & Fed-Ex just isn’t doing it for me, I made the split second decision that I was going to catch the UPS man. (Not before I contemplated calling him back to say “WAIT!” but uh, then I realized he called me from an intercom system. Not my brightest moment.) I shoved my feet into flip flops, grabbed my keys & cell phone and took off running.

After the agonizingly slow elevator ride down I made it to the sidewalk to discover -YES- his truck was still down the street. So I took off. I couldn’t tell if he was in another building or sitting in the drivers seat getting ready to take off with MAH PACKAGES but I’ll be damned if I didn’t try to stop that truck. So I sprinted. In flimsy flip flops. All was well until- yee gads I can’t believe I’m telling you this – my pants fell off. (Note to self: self, tie the darn drawstring) However, I was so intent on CATCHING THE UPS MAN, HURRY HURRY HURRY I stopped mid stride, hitched ‘em up & took off, this time with one hand holding onto the waist band of my pants for good measure.

I caught him. I was elated. I did a happy dance and the UPS man laughed & I signed for my packages (TWO! I HAD TWO PACKAGES) and I thanked him for walking slowly and he reminded me if he just had a key he’d leave them for me, thus preventing my mid-afternoon sprint. I laughed and told him I’d email my developer again and I walked slowly back to my building, trying to read the shipping labels to see if these packages were anything exciting. I started blushing when I realized I’d effectively given a PG peep show to the neighborhood, but then I thought about MAH PACKAGES and I felt better.

Until I walked inside and noticed in the front mirror that -hello!- a small hole in the seam of the sweat pants that has been there for at least a year decided to unravel during my sprint ‘n hitch routine. So yes. First I dropped trou in the street and then mooned everyone on my way back in. Yes. Southern charm indeed.

As excited as I am for all of the upcoming festivities, a knot of worry has risen in my chest. I’ve been keeping it at bay for a long time, but us born-worriers (You know you are out there!) can’t help but fret about the seeminlg insignificant & often uncontrollable things. For instance:

- I’m worried that not all my groups of friends will get along. (We are mixing friends from childhood, college, law school & even a few from the blog-world) Worse, I’m worried one group of friends will judge me based on a group that they don’t like. (Not that my friends are judgmental, but uh, yeah. I’m still worried.)

- I’m worried that I won’t be able to properly thank everyone for coming and speak personally with everyone. We have so many people coming from so far & I don’t want anyone to think “Well that was nice & all but I didn’t even get to talk to Daisy, not sure how I feel about coming all this way” on their flight home.

- I’m worried that I’m going to lose my temper. Worst of all I’m worried I”m going to get snippy with my Mom. Typically after she visits I feel awful for a time that I got frustrated & took it out on her with a snappy comment or an eye roll. I don’t want my wedding to be marred by memories like that.  More so, I want to be cool, calm & collected so I can enjoy the day- not uptight, frantic & frustrated.

- I’m a people-pleaser & I’m worried that petty family disagreements (ok fine, a few of them are not so petty) will rear their ugly heads. All families have drama & disagreements but I hope that nothing over-shadows the whole “marriage ceremony” part of it.

- I’m worried something will go wrong & the only fix will be an expensive one. My wedding dress is ruined. The transportation never arrives. Something happens to the venue. The list goes on & I can see my father’s face, slowly taking out his checkbook to fix it with money that isn’t in the budget. I was in a wedding once where the band’s van slipped off the road & into a pond, the power was out & the minister was snowed-into his house. I’m worried that this sort of thing will happen and it will cost my parents more than they bargained for.

- I’m worried I won’t like my wedding photos. I don’t know why, but I am. I’m worried I’ll look at them and go “Ew. Who let me out in public like that?”

- I’m worried I’ll come back to work & find out I don’t have a job anymore. This worry comes every time I go back to work after a holiday or vacation & I directly relate it to my last job going up in smoke the Monday after Christmas. Typically the evening before a day back after a break finds me pacing, fidgety & checking my work email for a hint that it is all going to implode in a few hours.

Irrational, perhaps- but that is where I am. Consumed with The Worry.