Saturday marked a pregnancy milestone- we (Me and the baby? Me and B? Hell if I know) hit the halfway mark of pregnancy. 20 weeks down, 20 weeks to go. In theory this is where thing get “fun” and right on cue I am now suffering from the popular pregnancy ailment of sore, sore hips. Blame it hormones and relaxin, blame it on having to sleep on my sides (stomach sleeper for life!) but I spent at least half of last night awake trying to find a position with pillows and the Snoogle that alleviated my pain with little success. Spoiler alert: the dog and snoring husband did not help the situation.
The halfway mark of pregnancy is awfully close to our wedding anniversary, which is when I mentally recognize that the calendar is about to speed up times one million. Anniversary, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, boom. This time of year always flies by and I’m hoping it means the aches & pains of pregnancy fly by as well, even if that makes me the world’s biggest whiner. I’m creeping closer to my gestational diabetes test, which I had long thought was an 8-12 hour fast followed by a bottle of syrupy sweet drink and a blood draw one hour later. Well my doctor’s office, never content with the status quo, has adopted the new and improved gestational diabetes test protocol which means I have a 12 hour fast, a fasting blood draw, drink the syrup drink and follow it up with a one hour and a two hour blood draw. Face/palm. I expect to be a shaky, starving mess by the end of it. Please avoid me that day, I can make no promises for my attitude or behavior.
Please ignore the spot on the mirror that makes it appear as though I grew a large mole on my upper lip. I assure you that is not the case, although the image makes me want to spontaneously cry out “MOLE MOLE MOLE!” in my office.
Our “big” ultrasound was very neat (10 fingers, 10 toes!) and the baby was declared healthy and growing as it should. It was not however a succesful ultrasound, as the baby was napping (despite my cup of coffee on the way in) and not in the mood to humor anyone with anything they needed so despite ice water chugging, more coffee drinking, walking, stretching, jumping and poking, the baby refused to allow all of the necessary photos to be taken for the radiology team. I’m oh-so-glad we decided not to find out the sex of the baby because if we had, we would have left that appointment crushed. Exhibit A kept its legs close together and ankles crossed, refusing anyone a look at his or her bladder, much less its pieces parts. TOUCHE baby, touche. I go back in 2 weeks to finish the ultrasound and hopefully get the rest of the necessary images.
I’d also like to share that I bought diapers for the first time ever this weekend (I had a coupon that was going to expire, no judging) and that was just weird. WEIRD I tell you. And now I’ve been forever marked as a parent in the Target system, as my register coupons were for formula and more diapers, instead of the usual teeth whitening kit and frou-frou house cleaners. GOODBYE DINK LIFESTYLE. YOU WERE FUN WHILE YOU LASTED.
And finally, in a desperate cry for help, can anyone point me in the direction of maternity tights that are very opaque? I have some dresses I’d like to wear that are just a tiny bit shorter than I’d like, but with thick tights I can make them work- but alas, all the ones I find are too sheer to provide proper coverage. Just because I’ve begun to wear LAPs (leggings as pants, with tunics only, SHUT UP I’M PREGNANT) does not mean I plan on pretending a pair of black tights is appropriate to cover up my upper legs.