Apples to Oranges: Measuring Babies by the Produce Department

The biggest question for every newly-pregnant blogger rests on the idea of memes – specifically, will the blogger participate in the widely popular weekly pregnancy meme that asks a stock set of questions in order to keep everyone filled in on the progress of the little bundle of joy. While I have always enjoyed reading a good pregnancy weekly update from my blogging friends, I have to recognize that my blog doesn’t necessarily have the same readership (read: I have boys reading over here!) as a typical newlywed-and-or-mommy-blogger and something tells me that a weekly pregnancy update comparing the size of my fetus to a piece of produce wouldn’t fly so well.

(Also: why must we compare growing babies to things in the produce section? It is one part creepy two parts confusing, because the fruit-based evolution of growth makes zero logical sense. Lime, prune, peach, lemon, what? WHAT? Have you seen the peaches I eat? In what world are lemons bigger than peaches? Or is this just proving my theory that produce is so incredibly variable that comparing gestating humans to produce is about as spot-on as comparing apples to oranges, hoo-ha, see what I did there? Also then there are the crazies in the pregnancy forums complaining that they can no longer eat any of the fruit used to compare the growth because it is like eating their baby, and I’m like lady, you are insane hand over that bunch of grapes asap.)

But (there is always a but) just because I don’t feel like answering a set of specific questions doesn’t mean that I’m against updates in general. So, here we go, a little 13-week update with information provided as I see fit.

13 weeks, aka, welcome to the 2nd trimester, all the books say I should feel better now, which is interesting considering I’M STILL PUKING ALL THE TIME. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that week 14 does the trick. Also making a fun appearance is heartburn and round ligament pain, which basically makes me feel like I’m pulling muscles all the damn time, but apparently I’m not. Just some stretching ligaments, good to know. Rhett Butler is unamused by my lack of energy but he takes every middle of the night pee break as an opportunity to steal my pillow. I’m solidly wearing maternity jeans but in a few sizes smaller than my pre-pregnancy jeans because pregnancy and morning sickness and appendectomies make no sense at all. Also: 13 week pregnant bellies are awkward. Did someone just indulge on a few too many donughts or……?


And my final, random parent-musing question of the day: what is the difference (besides the obvious) between wideneck versus regular baby bottles? Pros? Cons? Help a sister out.

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8 Responses to Apples to Oranges: Measuring Babies by the Produce Department

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  • k says:

    No real difference between wideneck and standard neck bottles except that standard neck will fit onto your breastpump should you wish to pump directly into bottles for feeding. I find the standard size also fit a little better into the dishwasher.

  • Lindsey says:

    haha! Google image the lemons in Naples, Italy and then you’ll see a lemon bigger than a peach! I’m with you on the comparing to fruit thing though…. strange?

  • OMG the worst game: Fat Or Pregnant. I feel ya. (You look decidedly pregnant to me, definitely all belly, not all belly and donuts.)

    (That was a compliment.)

    Not sure about the bottles, but I will tell I just bought one of each brand and tried each one till I figured out which LG/we liked best. Dr. Brown’s were winners in the no-leak and also baby-like department.

  • Kate says:

    My father was VERY DISTURBED by the inaccuracy of the Pregnancy Fruits. I came to expect a call from him every week… “What the hell kind of genetically enhanced squash are these fools eating? And WTF is a Durian fruit?”

    After all my nutjob baby gear research, I never really realized wide-neck bottles were a thing until I was accosted by a friend of a friend at said original friend’s wedding welcome party… crazy pants grilled me on why I chose the regular… WHAT WAS SO AWESOME ABOUT THE REGULAR? Um, that’s what I registered for?

    Having a bit more bottle comparison under my belt, the standard Doctor Browns will screw directly onto my Medela pump. But my wide necks (we are currently testing out Breastflow, Born Free, and Avent) are more like boobs. Which my bottle-hating baby tolerates a wee bit more.

  • Natalie says:

    We registered for Dr. Brown’s wideneck bottles because EVERYONE said get Dr. Brown’s and we heard the widenecks are closer to breastfeeding. But every baby is different…blah blah blah. I’ll let you know in November/December!

  • CP says:

    After using the wide neck Avent bottles, I can’t switch back to regular. They seem much more sturdy. Plus, the nipples on the wide neck bottles are more like an actual nipple. I think any bottle will work just fine. None of my babies were ever picky about what went in their mouth.

    P..- you look GREAT!

  • doahleigh says:

    We have actually been taking weekly belly shots WITH said produce. My husband is a chef, and it seemed appropriate. But you’re totally right. My lemon was huge, like scary big. And then the next week I think was an apple, which was smaller than the lemon. It doesn’t make much sense, and then my husband usually eats the baby (I mean the produce) and it’s all just weird. Fun though!

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