Hand to God, Y’all

Yesterday I was driving home from work, as I’m wont to do. I was under a large underpass on the Kennedy expressway when I happened to look over and notice a car (Escalade) on the shoulder with its flashers on. This particular underpass is a popular spot to stop on the shoulder as it is shaded and has a much wider shoulder than other stretches of the road, leaving ample room to avoid the person who you just rear-ended. I mean, I’m assuming.

Anyway. There was a person outside of the car & they were wearing:

  • riding boots
  • riding pants
  • a jaunty safari coat
  • a riding helmet
  • …..a beekeeper veil

This however was not the oddest part of the scene. No, the 6 foot butterfly  net in their hand was pretty odd.

But still, not the oddest part. The oddest part was the single, lone pigeon they were wildly chasing and attempting to catch.

SO MANY QUESTIONS.

I mean, were they chasing their pigeon? You know, a carrier pigeon so to speak? Or was this a wild pigeon? And if a wild pigeon, really, the side of a busy expressway during rush hour is where you are going to catch it? Are underpass expressway pigeons superior to, say, Michigan Avenue pigeons? I HIGHLY DOUBT IT.

Also, what was this person going to do with this pigeon? Take it for a ride in the Escalade? Roast it for dinner? I WANT TO KNOW.

I demand to know. Sadly I decided not to stop, because, man, this person seemed mentally unstable with a large luxury vehicle. Makings of a Lifetime movie right there.

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6 Responses to Hand to God, Y’all

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  • cindy w says:

    I guess this is the kind of stuff that I miss out on by living in the suburbs. But you know? I’m, uh, kind of totally ok with that.

  • eswiss says:

    …. Wow. You said there were no words, and I was skeptical. Now I understand.

    I’m glad you didn’t stop. This person may have decided to chase YOU with the net.

  • Meghan says:

    I heard it was for a reality show, and the first person to stop to see what was going on was going to win a million dollars. That totally sucks for you.

  • Sarah says:

    Wow… Just. Wow.

    When I was little, we had a neighbor who had homing pigeons. We would see them flying all over about a 5 block area, but every single afternoon around 6 you could see them flying back “home”! The man they belonged to was a bit ornery. I can see him dressed like that chasing a pigeon. So maybe it was a “pet”? lol. Who knows.

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