You really don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?

B just shook his head at me. It seemed I was speaking in alien tongues. It seems so simple to me, the organization of it all.

 The eggs always go in the upper right hand corner!

Jarred things should stick together! Gourmet cheeses go in the snack pan, boring cheese like cheddar & blue go in the cheese & cold-cuts drawer.

A whole shelf dedicated to left-overs & tupperware. Herbs go next to the eggs. Juice on a main shelf, dairy in the dairy shelf, mixers and coke’s go on the beverage shelf. Silly.

Here in the cupboard, we keep the canned goods organized, the baking supplies together over here & the spices go in this cupboard here. Organized by sweet & savory, size and some level of alphabetizing.

He just looks at me. Surveys the scene. Points to the hot sauce mixed in with the baking goods and raises his eyebrows, smirking.

Oh. That is just too tall to fit with the bottles or spices. Duh.

Again he just kind of shakes his head. He thinks I don’t notice but his face betrays him- he thinks I’ve gone bat guano.

I carefully line up the bottles- sherry, balsamic vinegar, white vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce-

He takes the opened soy sauce out of my hand & puts in the fridge. Refrigerate after opening. Who knew?

I line the pastas up by shape- penne, rigatoni, farfalle, angel hair, lasagna. Followed by the couscous and the rice-rice. (Hah. My own pantry organization joke. )

It is official. I’m thinking with the woman-part of my brain & he can no longer comprehend my invisible system. He wanders away from the kitchen, into the room where boxes, musical equipment & the like has been placed haphazardly. I wonder if he is going to make heads or tails of the disaster.

Awhile later in an attempt to find a missing folder of paperwork I move some boxes, I move musical equipment searching, looking, failing to find the folder. He comes in and glances around…slowly he asks me why I put something in the wrong place.

What place?

He just smiles and shakes his head. “You really don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?”

I stole the first line from Salaam Paris by Kavita Daswani as part of the Stolen Lines Experiment by Law With Grace. Colby from Colby in The City found the line.