Daisy, Just Daisy |

PPPPP

May 20, 2013

As a kid one of my Mom’s favorite phrases was “Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance.”

Forgot your lunch at school? She brought it to you, but not before reminding you that PPPPP.

Didn’t give yourself enough time to study? PPPPP.

Found yourself up against a deadline? PPPPP.

The phrase is drilled into my head and now I’m a planner. Probably (ok fine, yes) overly so, but I function best with a lot of prior planning. The only way my family eats dinner, I make it out the door with everything I need and Gracie gets lots of quality time with Mom and Dad is thanks to a lot of prior planning, preparation and lists. Sorry, lists don’t start with a P, but damn if I don’t rely on them daily.

Anyway. My point is that normally B and I are fairly scheduled out, know what is going on, etc., etc. Until it came to our upcoming move, and in that case we have been driving ourselves and everyone we know crazy.

Where are you moving? Have you found a place? When are you moving? Are you going to ask your parents to come? Do you need help? Have you scheduled movers?

For the past 4 months these questions have been met with hemming, hawing, hand flapping and general avoidance. (See what I did there? Alliteration, but we’ve moved on from the “p” set.) It makes perfect sense then that last week- on Wednesday evening to be exact- we decided to move this Friday. At the time we made that decision we had packed exactly zero boxes and the only “we are moving soon” task I’d completed was boxing up my maternity clothes (all but the yoga pants & 1 pair of maternity jeans because I have some serious jean-woes right now and desperately need to hightail it to the store for pants that don’t make me look like a baggy elephant or like I just traveled through time from 2003). Obviously the boxing of maternity clothes is not going to get us from point A to point B so now we are faced with packing our storage locker + 2 bedroom 2 bath place worth of stuff in a week.

Luckily, this bad boy arrives in the mail tonight:

The movers have been booked (B and I decided about a year ago that we are too old to bribe friends with pizza and beer to help us move, conversely, we are no longer bribe-able) and my fantastic friends (including the lovely Kristabella) have offered to come play with the baby in the evening hours so our hands are free to frantically throw things into box with ~~reckless abandon~~ the utmost of care. We are ordering Gracie’s crib mattress, her dresser is set for pick up at the end of the week and I purchased shower curtains for the new place. My inlaws are coming to help us with the day of the actual move (and by help us I mean hang out with their grandbaby and granddog, don’t worry, we are not making them carry boxes). That and I took Thursday and Friday off of work to make myself a nice little 5 day weekend so hey, come next Tuesday morning, I will have boxes unpacked and artwork hung SO HELP ME. Mostly because then my parents are coming and we have birthdays, weddings and Gracie’s baptism (which includes many great-grandparents, all grandparents and godparents in town). And then? THEN I SLEEP.

We can do this. We…can…do…this.

The Ghost Spouse

May 13, 2013

By Daisy

As most/many/all of you know I’ve been married for a few years. “B” as he is called on my blog is my husband and we’ve been married for about three and a half years.

I try hard to portray him on the blog in a way that is fair and accurate. But sometimes I find that it is really difficult for many reasons. Partly because he values his ~~anonymity~~ privacy so his photos don’t show up on here, partly because I value *our* privacy so many topics are taboo for me to discuss and partly because…well, like any married couple we have fights and rough weeks and general disagreement. That and some of the “funniest” moments that I’d write about are over things he does wrong (trust me, some of his funniest moments are things that I do wrong) and too much of that can come across in all the wrong ways.

If I’m being honest, I have a hard time writing about my husband and our marriage because I cringe at how many non-blogging spouses are portrayed online. Jerks. Idiots. Inconsiderate. Nagging. Controlling. The list goes on and the worst part is, I don’t think the bloggers in question feel that way about their spouses. But when they use their white space to vent or “be honest” they sometimes forget to come back to that same white space when things go the right way. Or on the opposite side of the coin they only use their space to portray the best of the best moments, leaving others wondering why their significant other doesn’t come home regurlarly with flowers, jewelry or gift certificates for girls weekends away.

Blogging is, for most people, just a tiny fraction of their day to day lives. How they choose to remember it is their business. Why they blog is their own personal decision tree. What they want their blog to reflect is a choice that they make for themselves. But sometimes I wonder if they realize their spouse is being reflected as well, and it isn’t always in the most positive light. Perhaps they don’t care if a bunch of strangers on the internet think their husband or wife is a moron or a jerk, but I care. I care because my husband isn’t a moron, a jerk, a nag or any of those things. He is human and so am I. He is a Dad that tries his best and gets it right the vast majority of the time. He is a spouse that cares and still does things “wrong” (at least in my eyes) sometimes. It wouldn’t be fair to him or anyone else to only highlight one side of the spectrum. I try hard to represent both sides, while still giving him the privacy he deserves without making it sound like I’m married to an anonymous ghost.

Yesterday, on Mother’s Day, as we handed a screamy (over tired, gassy, generally unhappy) baby back and forth and brainstormed how to make her happy we talked about our new roles as parents. We cracked up over the first time B made her a bottle at home- pouring one ounce of milk into the largest bottle we own, not realizing we had much smaller bottles that would have done the job. We laughed about the first time we took Gracie to the pediatrician and accidentally parked six blocks from where we needed to be and then had to walk – in a snowstorm- to the office, when we had both forgotten our jackets and gloves. At lunch, earlier in the day (when the baby was much, much happier) we split buffalo wings (my favorite) and in the midst of it, the song we danced to at our wedding came on in the restaurant. We both stopped eating and just goofily grinned at each other.

That was the best first dance song.

Our daughter is the best thing we’ve done, huh?

Our wedding was wonderful, wasn’t it?

We grabbed hands and laughed. Tired, exhausted, marveling at how far we’d come and yet how much was the same.

Our marriage isn’t perfect- we are inherently imperfect people- and we will probably never come to terms on how often a bathroom should be cleaned, who should change out lightbulbs and who is responsible for getting the car washed….but we try. We both make the other person mad and we both do small things to make the other person smile. It is a give and take, and as long as we both try to give a little more than we take, we find a happy ground to stand on together.

I try hard to make my blog an authentic reflection of my life. The good, the bad, the somewhere in between. I read the posts from when I was unemployed and I can feel my sadness and depression jumping off the page. I read posts from when I was pregnant and can feel the heartburn and uncertainty in my chest. I read about my husband and I laugh, I frown, and I generally feel content. I know he is the other half to “us” and my only goal when writing about him to make sure I’m not painting him into any corners he doesn’t belong in.

Unless of course I’m in the corner with him. And if that is the case…well that is about as authentic as it comes.

Who Gives The Best Hugs? {Sponsored}

May 10, 2013

By Daisy

This upcoming Saturday is my very first Mother’s Day as both a daughter (responsible for card sending & breakfast in bed making or at least phone calling) and a Mother. Since Gracie isn’t quite old enough to hand string macaroni necklaces or scribble on a piece of paper for me I suppose that B is responsible for her daughter-duties. (Dear B: Breakfast needn’t be in bed, but anything above the typical cup of coffee and yogurt I have would be most appreciated. Toast. Toast is nice.) I actually told my Mom last week that I was feeling overwhelmed this Mother’s Day because now that I am a Mom I realize how much my Mom loves me and it quite literally takes my breath away. Cue tears.

Anyway! Mother’s Day. This year AT&T reached to ask if I wanted to share their fun video e-card featuring Beck Bennett. Normally I steer clear of sponsored content but these commercials are a favorite around these parts. You might ask yourself why, but it is because Mr. Beck Bennett with his voice and suit and general mannerisms in this campaign is…pretty much my husband.

So much so that my extended family has emailed about how these commercials are great fun for them because it is like watching B.

What’s better? Bigger or smaller? Faster or slower?

Welcome to my life.

Now that I’ve given you a glimpse into my day to day, here is what I have for you. First off, you can send a personalized version of the video to your Mom if you are so inclined (links below) and for those of you who are all over Facebook, I’m giving away an HTC First which is the first phone with Facebook Home! AT&T will ship the phone directly to the winner, so be sure to leave an email address so I can get your info from you should you win! To win leave a comment about your favorite advertising campaign or why you are in the market for a new phone!

Mother’s Day is nearly here and AT&T is celebrating moms with a fun, shareable video e-card for a special edition of the popular “It’s Not Complicated” campaign. In a new rendition of the commercial that will air Friday through Sunday, mediator Beck Bennett strays from his usual, “what’s better, bigger or smaller?” and instead asks, “who gives the best hugs?” to a unanimous response – mom does! The video e-card can be personalized, offering a simple Mother’s Day themed e-card video, with Beck and the kids, to share with mom via social media (Twitter, Facebook, email). Make your own personalized version of the “It’s Not Complicated, Moms are the Best” video e-card at ATTMothersDay.com.

I have not been compensated for my time or post with payment or goods. All opinions contained within are my own.

Dear Gracie (Month Three)

May 7, 2013

By Daisy

Dear Gracie

On May 1st we hit a big milestone- your three month “birthday” so to speak. You are slowly turning into your own little person and less and less a little lump of baby. You have started to take an interest in the things and people around you and like nothing more than to be held in my lap (or your Dad’s) so you can mimic our faces, smile, wave your hands and generally act like an awesome little lady. We are happy to oblige. At three months I no longer give people your age in weeks when they ask, as you’ve outgrown that method of counting at least for the average admirer when we are out and about.

This past month I went back to work and you began staying with your nanny. She is wonderful and loves you very much and we love her too. She introduced you to the idea of a sleep schedule and after a few weeks you began (KNOCK ON WOOD KNOCK ON WOOD KNOCK ON WOOD) sleeping through the night and napping beautifully. I know anything can change, but for now we are all enjoying each other as well rested individuals. You still sleep in the pack-n-play bassinet by our bed, but once we move we will begin transitioning you into your crib in your very own nursery. I’m sure you are quite ready, but your Mama is not. Them’s the breaks.

This month you went to visit both your Mom and Dad at the office which was fun if not a little stressful. You were a well behaved little lady and hopefully those visits convinced you to never, ever go to law school. (Teasing.) (Sort of.) (Ehhh…not really.) You finally grew out of your newborn clothes this past month, which was really bittersweet as I packed things away. Luckily for you your 0-3 month wardrobe is robust and we all appreciate when your feet are not trying to poke through the feet of your pajamas. Your pediatrician no longer feels the need to do regular/extra weight checks because you finally made it onto the growth charts, hitting the 5th percentile for weight. You are our tiny peanut.

Weekend mornings with you our new favorite thing. You wake up happy as a clam and we make coffee and read the news and feed you and play with the dog and it is generally a really happy time. You are full of smiles and coos and you kick your feet in appreciation of the sunshine and the new morning. I wish those moments would last for forever! Your Dad has a game with you that we call the “wiggles” and you are thisclose to laughing when you have the wiggles. Soon!

You’ve started to reach for toys and are more interactive than ever when you are on your play mat. You still love walks outside in the fresh air although you complain loudly if the sun gets on your face (sometimes I can’t open the sun canopy fast enough). You still love to take baths and don’t complain when your uncoordinated Mom gets water on your face as she is trying to rinse you. Sorry about that! You stayed with a babysitter a few times this month, because as much as we love you (and we do, so very much) we know that putting our marriage as a priority is just as important as being there for you. You have a line up of admirers so we have no shortage of people volunteering to come watch you for a few hours.

Everyone wants to know who you look like, and the truth is you are a bit of a mix of your Mom and Dad. This is a side by side comparison of you and me at two months and at three months:

: Two Months

: Three Months- Me

: Three Months- Gracie

I think there is a family resemblance- but rest assured, your hair seems just like your Dad’s at that age. Your eyes were a deep navy blue for a long time, but they are lightening more and more and seem grayer and grayer to both your Dad and I. Your Dad has hazel eyes, I have green eyes, your uncle has gray eyes and all of your grandparents have blue, green or hazel eyes – so who knows where yours will settle. I think the only assurance we have is that they won’t be brown. Your hair seems to be lightening up, although I swear that sometimes it has a slightly red tint to it….your Papa (my Dad) had red hair so it is a possibility. Time will tell!

It was impossible to get a photo with you and the dog this month, but you have started reaching out to touch him when he comes over to inspect you, and he tries to slurp your face when you have a milk mustache- supervision is required at all times these days. He is still sweet and gentle around you and we know as you get older the two of you will interact more.

: Month 1

: Month 2

: Month 3

There are so many things I look forward to teaching you and experiencing with you, but for now, I look forward to 8 pm when we snuggle into the chair together and I feed you one last time before bed. You sometimes take my thumb in your little hand and hold it while you eat and doze off and the stress and tasks of the day seem to melt away as we rock. Your Dad and I can’t get enough of you, as evidenced by our iPhone photo galleries and our evening routine and I can say, without a doubt, that you are our world.

I can’t wait to see what your future holds baby girl. You can grow up to be anything.

Love,

Mama

Three Months:

11 pounds, as told to us by the home scale

Likes: playmat, swing, being swaddled, snuggling, bath time, mobile and having a case of the wiggles

Dislikes: diaper changes, being strapped into your car seat, not being fed as fast as you might like

Rosetta Stone: Craigslist

May 3, 2013

By Daisy

Our impending move (which, uh, yeah we don’t have a date picked yet to get that done) gives us a lot more square feet and as I just can’t abide by bare walls I’ve been hunting for some new furniture. To be fair I’m looking for things we need- the perfect dresser for the nursery, a bookshelf to house our overflow of books, a bookshelf for the nursery. Sadly “statement wingback chairs” are not on the list although hot ham, I would love a set of those.

Anyway. After perusing my favorite “big box furniture stores” (Crate and Barrel et. al.) and not finding what I wanted in my budget I have reverted to my favorite way of furniture shopping- antique stores, estate sales and good old Craigslist. I’m confident at some point I’ll find the right pieces because my Mama didn’t raise a fool and I can spot the gems under the grime and dust. I can also spot the over priced imitation pieces and poor repairs. It has been fun searching (half the battle) but Craigslist is a whole new venue of crazy. There are the people that don’t use email (CALLS ONLY!) but yet post the furniture on the internet. There are the people who only provide a stock photo of the item they are selling…as though their dresser from Pottery Barn looks just like the one on the display in the store. There are those that are weirdly defensive about the price/the lack of delivery/the broken parts/why they are selling it. But best of all are the item descriptions, which often follow into one of the following categories:

Shabby Sheek- This seller can’t spell (SHABBY CHIC DAMNIT) and is trying to give a piece of furniture in poor quality some charm. Shabby sheek translates to “my child wore ice skates and then kicked this over and over and I tried to cover it up with enamel bathroom paint”. Skip the “shabby sheek” postings.

Vintage- The vast majority of the time “vintage” means “ten year old pressboard and laminate”.

Mid-Century- Most people have no idea what Mid-Century is but they know it is popular so they call the Target dresser Mid-Century in hopes of selling it to a fool. Don’t be a fool.

Antique- This is code for “sitting in my garage collecting dust for 20 years but used to sit in my Granny’s dining room. By using the word “antique” they hope to add a few hundred dollars to the item’s value.

Perfect for Baby’s Room- This is your tip off that the piece of furniture in question is oddly shrunken in size. It rarely, however, would be good for a baby’s room.

Gorgeous Ikea _____ Ah. This seller is my favorite. They are trying to sell used Ikea furniture at almost full retail value. Often these pieces are poorly put together or missing parts and yet this seller thinks that only warrants taking $20 off the full retail price. Sure you don’t have to put it together but how great does Ikea furniture work after it has been moved around more than once or twice?